Mymphis Morbia Interview 1

Mymphis (mean mugging Jelissa):
"Listen here. I'm the last person in this building right now that you wanna piss off. You wanted me to sit for an interview, and you can't even say the name of my empire?"

Jelissa J.:
"I am so sorry."

Mymphis:
"Well, I know THAT.  ANT. 'Sorry' is not even half of it. If you were a wrestler,  I'd tear you apart in that ring."

Jelissa J.:
"I do NOT disagree. You'd freaking kill me."

Mymphis (Jelissa J.:)
"I know I would. Where are you from? You damn sure ain't from Calico Aster with that accent. You're married to a soldier, or something?"

Jelissa J.:
"No, and I'm from Wyoming."

Mymphis:
"From WHAT?"

Jelissa J.:
"I'm from Wyoming..."

Mymphis:
"I've never heard of a person from Wyoming. And I can tell you right now, I don't like people from Wyoming. They can thank YOU for that, ANT."

Jelissa J.:
"Wow. That's harsh... What is with you and ants? Why do you call me an ant? I'm not an ant. I'm a human, like you."

Mymphis:
"Because an ANT is what you are. If I called you an ANT, that means you're an ANT. Did I call you a human? No. I called you an ANT. And let me tell you something. These people reading this interview? They're ANTS just like you. Here, take this."

Mymphis gives Jelissa a black tube of lipstick from Yo Spa & Nails.

Jelissa J. (confused):
"What's this for? Lipstick?"

Mymphis:
"You're gon' put ANT on your forehead so you don't forget what you are."

Jelissa J.:
"Huh? Om, no thanks? Let's just calm down a little bit before this interview gets out of control."

Mymphis:
"Outta control? I ain't worried about 'out of control.' Do I look like I'm worried about outta control? Put ANT on your forehead, or I'll put it on there for you, just like I did the ANT who hired you. I see a mirror in your purse. Use that to help you."

Jelissa J.: (nervous):
"What? Waldo did this? Listen...."

Mymphis (angry):
"Do you know who you're talking to? Who is it that you think you see right now? I am the QUEEN of the Gigvha Uwoyeni. I am the last survivor of the Bloody Hand Empire! My empire is alive through me. I am Mymphis Morbia."

Jelissa J.: (looking at her papers):
"I know your real name is Alyssa Bloodpool. That's what it says here. You're not this crazy person."

Mymphis (looking at Jelissa):
"!!!!!"

Jelissa J. (scared):
"S-sorry, I didn't... Oh gosh. Okay. Okay."

Jelissa pulls the mirror from her purse and writes ANT on her forehead with the black lipstick, as Mymphis continues angrily staring through her soul.

Jelissa J. (scared):
"How is that?"

Mymphis (staring at Jelissa):
"........!"

Jelissa J.:
"....??"

Mymphis:
"......?!"

Jelissa J. (showing Mymphis her forehead):
"Uh... Um... H-how is that? That's good right?"

Mymphis:
".........??!"

Jelissa J.:
"Um... Okay...? This is... This is getting weird."

Mymphis (staring at Jelissa):
"Don't you ever.... EVER...."

Jelissa J.:
".....?? What did I do? Is it crooked?"

Mymphis (angry):
"Listen to me you little shit. Don't you EVER say that name again."

Jelissa J.:
"I said sorry, did I not? If I didn't, I apologize."

Mymphis (pointing at the door):
"You think this is a joke, don't you? You think them people standing outside this door are gonna help you if I decide to put my hand on you?"

Jelissa J.:
"I don't want it to get to that point. Not at all. Again, I do apologize."

Mymphis:
"Shut up, ANT. You got 5 more minutes, and I just doubled my rates."

Jelissa J.:
"But you agreed to 60 minutes."

Mymphis:
"Listen at you. And I just UN-AGREED. If you got a problem with that, you better hurry up and ask me some real questions."

Jelissa J. (nervous):
"Okay...?  Tell me about om, working with Robbin READY."

Mymphis (showing her right hand):
"What do you mean, WORKING with Robbin READY? You think this is a 9-to-5 job, or something? You see this right hand? I slapped her in the face with this right hand. Just like I'm fixin' to do you for asking these stupid questions."

Jelissa J. (nervous):
"I mean, I guess what I meant was competing against her in wrestling matches. Like, when Brittney Bizness distracted her so you could use that right hand."

Mymphis:
"I just told you. And you got about two more minutes. And let's get something straight. She knew there was a championship match with me in the ring. If you're in the ring with MYMPHIS MORBIA..... If you're in the ring with ME, you better be paying attention. That's her fault.  Don't ask me about her again.

Jelissa J. (nervous):
"Y-you were the captain of the heel locker room, but then Sayaka—"

Mymphis (interrupting):
"Sayaka? What, she's your friend now? You're on a first name basis?"

Jelissa J. (confused):
"Oh no. Not at all. I was just..."

Mymphis (angry):
I know you're not, ANT. It's 'SPOOKY SAYAKA' to YOU. And I don't wanna talk about her either.  You're interviewing ME, asking about other people. And I wanna go back to what you said earlier. You disrespected me before this interview started.  You have a big problem. And you know what? I like big problems.

Mymphis stands up, staring angrily at Jelissa as APPW Head of Security Todd Flanagan walks into the room.

Jelissa J. (wiping forehead):
"You know, this is getting—wait, hold on."

Mymphis:
"I didn't tell you to wipe that off. Leave it on there, you ANT."

Jelissa J. (looking at Todd):
".......???"

Mymphis  (looking at Jelissa):
"What'chu looking at him for? He ain't gonna do nothing. Don't act tough because he's standing right der. I'll cut him too and stain you with his blood. Just like I did to Robbin READY."

Todd F. (to Mymphis):
"Ma'am, this interview is over. I have a duty to stop the interview if any staff is in immediate danger, or threatened with bodily harm. Come on... Let's just all relax."

Mymphis (to Todd):
"Shut the f*ck up... You were the one shouting at me when I was about to break Holly Appleshit's leg. That purple b*tch is gonna learn to mind her business, pa deddy. Maybe I'll break your leg. One figure-four. I'll get Sayaka, and we'll break it together. How about that?

Todd:
"That's unnecessary. Let's go."

Mymphis (to Todd):
"Come on! I'm right here. You wanna buck up at me? Put on a pair of trunks and get in the ring. What size do you wear? I can get you a pair of tights. Take me a piece of that scalp."

Todd (nervous):
"N-No, I mean om, let's go, as in, ending the interview. I'm j-just doing my job."

Mymphis (to Todd):
"No, it sounded like you wanna get in the ring. "

Jelissa J.: (scared):
"........!!"

Mymphis (whispering to Todd):
"I'm gonna tell Blake and Lefty that you're in here badmouthing Mildrock."

Mymphis (looking at Jelissa):
"What are you waiting on? Go ahead and send that money over. You have my info. Chop chop. I ain't got all day."

Jelissa J.: (on the phone):
"I'll watchtower your money. Again, I apologize if I offended you. I'm still new to this. Big Larry was so much easier. I don't know what ticks people off sometimes."

Mymphis (evil grin):
"There's a Library on Cat Street. I suggest you read a book or something and learn fast before you get hurt... 'Working With Robbin Not-Ready...' I can't wait to tell Sayaka about this. I'm gonna tell you right now.  You ask HER these stupid questions? She's gonna tear you apart, and only I know how to calm her down. Ha ha ha."

Jelissa J.:
"Oh lord. What have I gotten myself into?"

Todd F. (looking at Jelissa):
".........."

Mymphis  (to Todd):
"You think you're tough, eh? You better watch your back."

Todd F (to Mymphis):
"I'm not afraid of you..."

Mymphis stares at Todd as she walks near the door.

Mymphis (staring at Todd):
"............"

Todd F.  (nervous):
"As I said, I'm not afraid of you or your threats. You do something to me, you'll go straight to Algaheim, because I have a witness."

Jelissa watchtowers $208.00 to Mymphis Morbia, completing the interview.

Jelissa (to Mymphis):
"That's $104.00, plus an extra $104 for wasting your time. Again, I do apologize. I'm still learning."

Mymphis looks at Jelissa, then looks at Todd for a few seconds. Mymphis leaves the room.

(Interview Ends)

Jelissa (whispering to Todd):
"What the f* was that? Why didn't you come in here sooner? Are they allowed to do that?"

Todd F.  (breathing hard):
"Yeah, as long as they don't touch you. But I don't appreciate her threats. I'm gonna go to the Police and talk to Cpt. Fenwick about this. She's gonna tell those guys something I didn't do. Did you hear me say anything about Mildrock? That's bullshit."

Jelissa J.:
"No, No. Let's go to Coach Jerry first. I was told he was good with these issues, and he's an attorney."

Todd F.:
"Okay, let's do it. If I don't like what he says, I'm going downtown. I wanted to say something so bad when you wrote ANT on your forehead, but we're not allowed to interfere with the interviews. She was a f*cking dick.  I'm so glad Holly Appleseed kicked her freaking ass."

Jelissa J. (whispering):
"Shhh!.... Don't worry about it. Let's go..."

Jelissa and Todd leave the interview room.

(Scene Ends)